On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
