I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I wear drunk well.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
