when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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