its not stalking. its research.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
