Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
