ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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