HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
