I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
