i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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