I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Jerry, you need to find god
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
