I wanna bring you to show and tell
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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