You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
