I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
