I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can feel your judgement through the phone
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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