just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
