I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My life is pants optional.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
