yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
