chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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