I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
