do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You smell like a Billy Joel song
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize
