like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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