just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I AM VODKA MAN
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
