Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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