so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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