Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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