girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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