Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
