ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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