is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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