The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
