I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I want to fling myself into the sun
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
