You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I will be naked everywhere
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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