Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My dick has a subreddit
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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