Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
