the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
