i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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