I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
