Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
