it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
