The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
