I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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