its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
