she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
the gays at disneyland are vicious
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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