Don't EVER smell your tampon
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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