everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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