we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
