i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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