Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
