so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
