I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
