i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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