He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
