He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
