Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
